So as to not do what I'm talking about in the title, let me congraltulate Hideki Matsui on his four-year $52 Million deal. I'm genuinely happy for the big guy--after all, that money can buy him plenty of porn.
If you think that's out of left field, you need to read Time Magazine Asia's 2003 profile of the man they call Godzilla.
That's almost as good as the story that Japan's foremost porn star volunteered to do a personal goodwill mission to the United States, to make sure Matsui's...taken care of. I bet that's a recruiting angle Bud Selig's office never thought of. Now we know why Japan has such baseball fever.
Um, Catch It!, I guess.
Anyway, to get my mind out of the gutter, yesterday the Commissioner's office decided that the perfect way to upstage the announcement of the NL MVP award was to announce their new, tougher steroid policy. Like it would have killed them to wait a day, and let Albert Pujols have his moment in the sun. Then again, I've never had to stare down John McCain with a bayonet in his hands and a dangerous look in his eyes.
So this means that for years Pujols has been upstaged by Barry Bonds for years, and now that he finally wins and MVP, Albert gets upstaged by steroids themselves.
Not sayin' anything. Just the irony's there for the taking.