Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I Guess We're Un-Tied Now...

MESSENGER: Mr. Johnson, I have a package for you.

RANDY JOHNSON: Who sent it? Not to sound paranoid, but a lot of people aren't fans of mine.

MESSENGER: It's from the Red Sox, sir. I'm sure they're not what you'd call fans, but I'm pretty sure you'll want what's in this package.

JOHNSON: I will, will I? Well, don't be shy, tell me what it is!

MESSENGER: I didn't want to have to say it aloud, but it's your backside, sir.

JOHNSON: What?

MESSENGER: Your backside. Your rump, sir. Your butt.

JOHNSON: Y'know, I thought my pants felt a little looser than usual. Well, just leave it on that chair, and I'll take care of it.

MESSENGER: I'm sorry, sir, but the Red Sox said I had to put this in your hands, personally.

JOHNSON: My ass? I'm getting my ass handed to me?

MESSENGER: Yes, sir. By the Red Sox.

JOHNSON: Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. [Accepts package.]

MESSENGER: Mr. Johnson, could you tell me where I can find Aaron Small and Tanyon Sturtze? I've got packages for them, too.

**********

I'm sure, just once Melky Cabrera would like to be called up by the Yankees, when they're facing the Royals, or the Devil Rays. Last year, the young outfielder was brought up during a four-game set against the Indians, started all four games, was a big leaguer for the All Star Break, then went with the Yanks to Boston, where he was promptly declared "not a major leaguer" as he made mistake after mistake in center field.

Now, he's up again, after hitting well again, in Columbus, this time, brought to the majors by an injury. Again, it's the Red Sox. And again, he's making fielding errors.

I hope this time they have some patience with Melky, because they need an outfield boost right now. Gary Sheffield's down, has-been Bernie Williams is the next option in right, followed by never-was Bubba Crosby. So if Joe Torre can just pull out one more mind trick, and convince Cabrera that he's with the team, thick or thin, and maybe get the kid to believe that he's not going back to AAA immediately after the next mistake he makes...well, he'd be doing the Yankee Faithful a service.

Not every rookie has the good fortune of a Derek Jeter, to hit right off the bat, save their first bad spell for after they've won a big league job.

2 comments:

MainlyYankees said...

First off let me start by saying that that 'skit' was both hilarious and sad. Wasn't Johnson supposed to be better this season? I hardly think it's a bad start anymore. Melky did a good job. Coming up for a Boston series, I imagine, is hard. That may have been a managerial mistake. His at bats weren't anything spectacular but he did work the pitchers and showed patience. Besides that costly error in the first game his defense was good, given they were all easy balls hit to him. But for a rookie even the easiest things can be not so easy.

DJ said...

That's the problem with acquiring pitchers in their late 30's or early 40's--they're not "supposed" to get better. In Johnson's case, we hoped that last season was a freak bad year rather than the beginning of the end. Right now, it's looking more and more like the middle of the end.

The hope now is, maybe a shot of Synvisc, some bullpen work, and/or a change in the competition level he's facing might snap the Unit out of it. If those things don't work, maybe they'll consider a two-week vacation to the DL. But so far, no one's found a cure for old age, and in that respect, Randy's been dodging the odds for a while now.