PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT LYRICS TO FOLLOW
Back in April, when I was in a nicknaming mood, I stuck Kevin Brown with the moniker Crazy Eyez Killa. It seemed appropriate, given the intense, hateful stare that Brown brings to the mound. He looks dangerous up there -- like he could snap at any moment, pull a gun, and bust a cap in the batter's ass. Or just fire wildly into the stands. Or the dugout.
Well, now he might just have snapped, and killed the Yankees' season. After pitching six mediocre innings against the Orioles last night (5 hits, 2 walks, 3 runs, 9 strikeouts), the dumb fuck punched a wall in frustration, and broke two bones in his hand. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
The only thing mitigating Brown's offense is that, taking Crash Davis' advice in Bull Durham to heart, he punched the wall with his left (non-pitching) hand. There is some hope he might pitch again this season. Hell, he "promises" that he will make his next start.
He might be able to do that. I've liked Brownie this season, because like Sheffield, he's played in a lot of pain, when he's played. But the fact is, he's just imperiled the season. As mediocre as Brown has been, the gap between him and Esteban Loaiza is pretty substantial. The strain that all the Yankees' short starts have put on the bullpen is so obvious that even mainstream press people have started to note it.
Maybe Brown's able to pitch, and he just has to end his outings early, because he sees stars whenever Jorge throws him the ball. Maybe opponents bunt on him more, and this injury hurts us there. Maybe this injury distracts him just a little bit, and makes him a little bit less effective.
The Yanks are just barely getting by on what Brown's giving them now. They can't take less than they're getting from Brown, not if they want to win in October.
Some reports have the Yanks looking to void Brown's contract, like they did Aaron Boone's, for self-inflicting this injury. I doubt it'll work, since Scott Boras would rather open and man a "free fellatio booth" at Riker's Island than forfeit his commission on the $15 Million the Yankees owe Brown for next season. Also, the Yanks would probably have to forswear Crazy Eyez Killa's services for this season, which they can ill-afford.
But I like the attitude. The Yankees have come a long way in the past ten years, by being the type of team that doesn't shoot themselves in the foot. This conduct can't be tolerated.
Meanwhile, Rodrigo Lopez, Jason Grimsley, and Jorge Julio shut down the Yanks' offense, for a 3-1 win over the Bombers. Not a great idea while the Red Sox are riding a 10 game winning streak.
The lead is now 2 1/2. Thanks, Kevin. You idiot.