Redfaced

An embarassing week, all around:

Tonight, Randy Johnson gets punked by the Detroit Tigers, allowing seven runs in five innings. The Unit is still giving up home runs, two leaving the confines of cavernous Comerica Park on his watch (the Tigers would get another clout against recent call-up Scott Proctor). Like Javy Vazquez and Kevin Brown before him, last year he was dominant, this year he throws batting practice. I feel like Leo Bloom in the Producers: "No way out. No way out."

Speaking of getting punked, I usually don't take gossip-type items, but I saw on Bill Simmons' ESPN website that Terry McMillan is getting divorced. Turns out the guy who gave Stella Her Groove Back is gay; now that he's gotten his green card, he's trying to find a way to break the couple's pre-nup and get alimony. Ain't love grand?

You'd have to think the worst part of this story is the fact that this guy was publicly celebrated in McMillan's book. Taye Diggs played him in the movie, fer crissakes! This has to be the worst artistic humiliation since Billy Joel divorced his wife a few years after scoring a big hit with "I Love You Just the Way You Are."

Back to baseball, former Yankee Kenny Rogers may be the game's biggest bonehead. Rogers, who was having an All-Star season (9-3, 2.46 ERA) first broke his hand punching a water cooler, in a bizarre echo of Brown's antics with the Yankees last season. He then added insult to injury, losing it with a camera man on the field and trying to push the camera out of the guy's hands repeatedly before he was restrained. Now, on top of his broken hand, he has a twenty game suspension. The suspension's too short--unless he further screws his team with the appeals process, Rogers will probably be unable to pitch anyway through much of his suspension.

The difference between Rogers and Brown is--since Rogers was pitching well, and the Rangers need him if they have any hope of winning the AL West--Rogers might just be welcomed back with open arms once he's eligible to return to the roster. I really can't condemn Rangers fans or management if that's their reaction, because the main (some would say only) reason fans come to the ballpark is to see winning baseball.

In other suspension news, Mt. St. Sheffield got a two game suspension for his helmet-throw and subsequent blowup at the umpire during the Mets series last weekend. Seems kinda arbitrary, since the big reason Sheffield blew up was because the first base ump had an old-style itchy ejection finger, basically threw the guy out as he was in the process of hurling his helmet.

Finally, in a development I think is more humorous than embarassing, over at Will Carroll's The Juice Weblog, Scott Long has been doing a riff about Psycho Ex Girlfriends that's truly excellent. Taken along with his powerful Anti Father's Day post, Scott's doing some impressive life-based writing, perhaps even sowing the seeds for an interesting memoir.